My first blog entry. Talk about writers block. I sat here awhile even wondering, where does one start? Where does one even begin to talk about their journey to a healthier version of me? Well, let’s start at the beginning, as most people would say.
Well, let’s just say I’ve been on a health journey for awhile. About a year ago I tried the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. Stuck to it and was religious about the process. Day 25 rolled around and I had not absolutely nothing. Zero, zilch, nada. Big EGG. I had lost inches but my weight stayed the same. Trying to stay positive and tell myself at my age, it would be baby steps now to get back to a healthier version of me.
Fast forward, after one year I’m still the same weight. I fluctuate up and down but overall, exactly the same. My boss, who is COO of Memorial Hermann Ambulatory Services and also a IronMan competitor, kept telling me I needed to go see the nutritionist at the Memorial Hermann IronMan (Human Performance). I politely smiled when he first suggested it, gritted my teeth the second and by the third time (which was only recently) did I finally let down the guard a little to say okay. Mainly, I thought if I just said yes, he would stop asking me if I had gone. My fear of course was walking into a place filled with super duper lean muscle triathletes and size 2 Barbi dolls. Who has time for that noise? NOT ME! So I put it off, again. Until now.
BODPOD : My first appointment I scheduled myself for the BodPod and nutrition counseling. I heard from Brett Singer, Nutrition Extraordinaire. That’s not really his title, but he has a slew of initials after his name and more titles in Sports Nutrition that I can count. He also is an adjunct professor and head sports nutritionist for the Skeeters and Houston Baptist University. Sure, that’s nothing to be intimated about. (insert rolling eyes here) I completed the necessary paperwork which consisted of a meal log and health history form. I had recently gotten a FitBit Charge2 for my birthday so it was rather easy since for the past week I had been logging everything like a newbie does with a Fitbit. I sent those off and took a deep breathe wondering if I could cancel. Brett quickly responded as one would expect from a supercharged nutrition expert at IronMan, giving me instructions for the appointment :
Body Composition:
The body composition test is taken using a BodPod.
- No eating or drinking – 2 hours prior (some water is ok)
- Women can wear: tight swim suit (without ruffles) or tri shorts and sports bra
- Men can wear: Tri shorts, spandex or lycra underwear (ex. Under Armour), or compression shorts
OK, first off, I failed to follow the instructions for no eating or drinking. Totally forgot about this. Next, it’s cute he would need to remind me to leave my ruffle swimwear at home, because I really like showing that off! But the whole, partial nakedness in front of someone so they can tell me my body composition? I seriously wanted to cancel now and give my boss some choice words for even suggesting something like this. But I am soldiering on.
Monday, October 17 : I arrive for my appointment and the happy shiny young girl at the front greets me. She is all smiles with lots of energy. Sure, deep down inside I want to hit her, but instead I smile back and take the clipboard she has handed me for some additional paperwork to complete. I’m not there long and Brett Extraordinaire comes to the door, ‘Ms. Collins are you ready?’ No I’m not ready you over zealous energizer bunny. But it comes out as ‘You bet! Let’s go’. Now, let me say, Brett is VERY professional. Upon entering the room he remembered that I had already given him the ‘don’t judge me if I have ice cream’ email. He goes through the instructions for the BodPod and politely turns his back so I can take off my shirt and be just sports bra and tight shorts. Trying to maintain my professionalism in all of this, I smile and take a step into the BodPod. It’s hard plastic and cold so when I lean back it totally shocks me and my professionalism goes right out of the window with a quick ‘eeeee, that’s cold’. I narrowly missed bumping my head on the top of the Pod. Yep, smooth I am.
Now, after having air pushed on me and Brett being ever so patient, we made it back to his office to talk about food. For more than a year I had been working on a caloric deficit. Hoping that I would drop a few pounds considering all the workouts I had added. I’m an early morning road runner. As I rambled on about my fitness regime and feeling rather proud of my FitBit tracking, I finished up with saying (and making a mistake at this) ‘overall I think I’m doing pretty good’. That gentle (and let’s face it condescending) smile came across Brett’s face, he slid my BodPod results across the table to me. You know you are in trouble when he starts the conversation with ‘No Ms. Collins’. As I looked down at the page the first thing that grabbed me? My scale at home SUCKS! because it has been wrong and wrong in I mean wrong numbers in the wrong direction. I made a mental note to myself, throw that piece of crap out the window when I get home. Second, was the big RED section of the table that gave my results. Brett was careful in his explanation and even was encouraging saying, ‘now if you can see you really are not that far off from the next level down, which I think is good’. Yeah, Brett, bottom line the big RED area and what you were not saying is ‘I’m FAT’. I’m not confident enough to share my numbers just yet, but while Brett never said I was fat, the numbers don’t lie. This is not social justice math, it is hard core, black and white 1+1=2 math. And it read way out loud, FAT. After my moment of silence, I’m sure Brett was talking, but I had tuned him out over the red on the paper, I focused back on what he saying. ‘Ms. Collins, you are not eating enough’. I’m sorry, what? Yep, I had heard him correctly, not eating enough. As he went on educating me, I learned that I had essentially tricked my body into thinking no food was coming so therefore, whatever was coming in should be stored to fat not energy. He asked if I had been struggling with my workouts on increasing my mileage, which I admitted yes I had been struggling. ‘You body is telling you to stop because it needs more
food’. I proceeded to tell him obviosuly, I’ve got enough to live off the land a bit by the numbers he presented. Again he gave me smile that was now reminding me of the smile I give my children when I’m counting to 10 in my head because I’m trying like hell not to say anything highly inappropriate. So, I closed my mouth and allowed Brett to continue. He had some massive spreadsheet that he would type into from time to time. It looked all highly scientific as I’m certain most of the people are at IronMan. Then he printed out a short novel for me to read when I got home. In actuality it was only 6 pages with lots of big graphs. Again, reminded me of the things I do for my children to keep their attention. I’m seeing a pattern here with Brett.
So, now I am on this new healthier me journey. I return to IronMan today for a gait analysis, VO2 testing along with strength and conditioning consultation with an energizer bunny named, Allyson. I’m told I should be worried as she is tough. I’m just hoping Allyson knows that I’m old and I have more insurance than her as she prepares to torture me today. See everyone on the flip side.
Healthier Me Adventures 